Sunday, December 20, 2009

A Vow to Get Back to Fit

This past week, I started a new thing. Well, an old thing. I've always been in great shape, my entire life. Very athletic, always outside, always active. A few years back, when I was diagnosed with MS, I was put on some pretty major steroids and gained weight. I've been fighting the battle of it ever since, as well as the massive amount of fatigue that comes along with it.

Since this was a few years ago now, enough excuses. I've been carrying quite a few extra pounds around off and on for quite some time now, and I've had about enough of this. I've tried several different things, but what I ultimately end up doing is just berating myself more for what I used to be.

I always hear, "You are lucky you are tall," as I'm told it doesn't show so much. But it does. My normal Size 8's are way too small, so now I'm wearing a 12. Which, again, isn't horrible for a tall person. But, it isn't me. And it hasn't been me for quite some time. I will never be comfortable with an extra 30+ pounds.

So, last week I made a deal. Three times a week for my regular aerobics with weights, three (opposite) days with Pilates. For every workout I miss there are consequences - $5.00 payments to my fiance, and I have to give up something I want to watch or do that day. It has been one week. He made $5.00. So, I only missed one day. Not a horrible start, but that is enough of that. And, honestly, the tiredness/fatigue is only worse with extra weight anyway. It's all about accountability.

My last trip to the doctor not only showed the weight increase but high cholesterol and warnings of pre-diabetes. I've not only been inconsistent with my workouts, but inconsistent with eating. I don't eat all day long, and I don't eat enough or enough of the right things - and I've shut down my metabolism. I don't drink enough water. I used to eat a pure vegetarian diet with very little sugar. I spend all day long in and out of my car, also a contributor to weight gain. I spend so much time taking care of everyone else that I've stopped taking care of me. I'm tired of being tired, tired of making excuses. Tired of feeling like a slug

Perhaps the real revelation wasn't just the doctor and the closet full of cute clothes that don't fit, the real one was my mother. Ah, mothers, so honest - often when you don't want them to be. When I was trying to encourage her to knit again she asked if I needed anything. I said I would love some things that she made. What did she say? "Well, I'd have to get some more yarn, because you are bigger now." Ouch....but thanks, mom. Perhaps that is the other inspiration I really needed.

So, I vow to once a week post my progress - what I've done for workouts, the changes I see, and how it feels. I was going to put it on a different site, a new blog. But why not just put it on this one. I became open about the MS this week, why not be open about this too. No crash diets, no crazy stuff. Just back to me. Back to my vegetarian diet, back to sweets only occasionally, drinking more water again, and most importantly back to regular exercise. Basically, back to me.

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